Marriage and Divorce

Forgive me for the oxymoron title, but that's on my mind tonight.  Saturday, we went to a beautiful wedding for some friends of ours from church.  The mass remains the best memory I have of the wedding; of course, I got all teary-eyed as I always do at weddings.  I was especially sentimental, because they got married in the same church where my husband and I got married.  The dearest memories I hold in my heart are from my wedding.  One day I'll blog all about it and post pics.  

Anyway so we spent nearly all day at the wedding, the reception, the baile, todo!  My hubby spun me around the dance-floor several times, and we enjoyed los brindis y el pastel tambien.  To me, the best part of the dance was the groom dancing a cumbia around the dance floor with his abuelita to some good Ramon Ayala songs!!  

Now on to the next topic - divorce.  Tonight I worked at the college to make some phone calls to my ESL students, letting them know class resumes next week. I called one of the men in my class who had not been coming since like October.  He spoke to me in very very good English, explaining to me what had been happening in his life.  Divorce.  That dreaded word hit me.  I could hear the pain in his voice as he said "I don't know what happened; my wife said she no love me no more.  I hurt a lot... my feelings are hurt."  I kept saying "I understand; I am sorry."  Then he goes on to share how they were married fifteen years and all of a sudden, she stops loving him.  The worse news came - he had to move about 100 miles away to Houston, because he had no family here and nowhere to stay.  So he cannot come to ESL class anymore, but that's NOT the worst news.  The worst news - he has not seen his kids in several months and he misses them so much.  I thought he was going to cry right there with me on the phone.  


I was shocked that someone could stop loving this honest, hard-working man who is so cabellero! He does not seem like a "macho, yo mando ; yo soy el jefe!" type of man.  I remember him clearly from class; he was always early with soft brown eyes and a gentle voice, not mean or dominating at all.  I know there are two sides to every story, but I could clearly, so clearly, hear pain in this man's voice.  I do not understand divorce; how some people can just turn love off as easily as turning off a light.  

I know my own marriage is far from perfect, but as I always, say - there are more ups then downs, and we learn to grow with each other with every trial and obstacle.  I also trust that God has joined us to truly be one; we share so many joys between us, and we have so many special moments, and I know that I could not dream of being with anyone else, other than my husband.