always the big girl ... Part II

As most of you know by now, I am pregnant, blessed to be pregnant, and happy pregnant.  But... I have not announced it to everyone just yet.  My family knows and most of my close friends.  People at work know; my teenage students know, and every day the girls are asking me about weird cravings or mood swings.  

Yes, I have had cravings, mainly for hamburgers.  I think it's from watching movies like Home Fries and seeing Whataburger commercials; the beef just looks so juicy and the wheat bread so soft and the lettuce so crisp, I have to taste one!  I have not been eating them like crazy only like two a week.  

As far as mood swings, I take those out on my husband, lol.  They have not been extreme though, thank God.  I continue to remind myself that - everything I feel affects the baby, so I try my best to be happy and calm. I even read recently that anxiety can affect the baby and cause the baby to be anxious in life, talk about genetics!  


Anyway, I am writing to say why I have not told the whole world I am pregnant, because sadly a lot of people have been thinking I already am!  Mainly women from church.  I love our church, it's very traditional Hispanic and Catholic, but unfortunately, that comes with groups of gossipy middle-aged and elderly ladies who have been patting my stomach and asking "when's the baby due?"  Sometimes, I disregarded the question or shook my head.  Some of them would be rude about it though, constantly prying and asking "well why aren't you pregnant yet?"  It got to the point where I stopped wearing dresses to avoid the attention to my round belly which just comes with being plus-sized.  Now, that I really am pregnant, I do not tell those ladies; I figure they will find out soon enough.  I am barely two months, I am not showing a lot, my stomach has swelled some, but it's not sticking out.  


Then the other day, my mother-in-law has to throw in my face how she and her divorced 20 year old adopted daughter NEVER wear low-cut shirts and show their breasts.  But I remember very clearly, her daughter wearing strapless shirts showing all her shoulders and low-cut hipster jeans showing off her skin.  My suegra kept telling me repeatedly, "tu tienes mucho! tu tienes mucho!" I was thinking "y que?" Instead I told her bravely, "Usted y tu hija no tienen nada" with a laugh, so it was not too harsh.  She just had to reply with the same repeat -  "tu tienes mucho! tu tienes mucho!" I literally did, roll my eyes, and tell her "y van a crecer mas!"  Her reply this time - nada! Just a little awkward moment of silence.  

What does it matter if my breasts are big?  My mom told me I should have told her "y tu hijo le gusta!"  My hubby's padrino said, I should her told her "Y tu! Tan envidiosa!"  My sis-in-law said "You got it, flaunt it!"


That really annoys me though how people can pay attention to the outside so much and point out these little or big details so much, what does it matter?  I get so annoyed hearing about her perfect little daughter is, and how perfect her other son is, that I have thrown back my remarks, never in a disrespectful manner though, because my mama raised me to always respect my elders even when they are acting a fool.    I just think, I am going to get bigger, being pregnant, and I need to surround myself with positive people who are going to point out -that life is growing inside me, not that I am gaining extra weight...