Doing a Survey - so you readers can know more about me

It's a Saturday night, and we are home lounging around the house.  It has been like that all day! I took a shower this morning, but I put some pjs on anyway.  I was glad when I read a friend's blog and she said something similar - yes, it does feel great to not have to rush and get ready!  We had salads for dinner and watched The Town; that movie was awesome and kept me interested the whole time.  


I was browsing through blogs and found this survey, so I decided to fill it out and share a little of my life.  


Survey Questions:

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?

   In the past when I had pets, mainly dogs - they were part of the family.  Now that is apartment living, we cannot have a dog :(.  We have a pet fish, a beta, that we call Orca. I really love that fish. He swims around so fast in the fish bowl where I have an ivy as well.  It is relaxing to watch the fish swim around.  

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

  I would really really truly like to publish a book of stories or even a novel.  That has been my dream since I was about twelve years old.   Not because I want to be famous or anything like that, but because I would love to share my stories with the world.  Especially young Latinas, I always worry about our hermanitas and hope they attain their goals and aspirations.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

   People who are fake and act like they are better.  I really cannot stand that.  To me, we are all created equal in God's image.  No one is better than anyone, so quit acting like it.  

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

pay off student loans, other debts, and buy a big ranch house with some acreage.  I want a big enough house for my husband, our kids in the future, and my parents as well.  That is my goal as I have realized how tough the economy is, and I want to help take care of my parents as they have always taken care of me.  

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

music!  Especially fast cumbias!  I could be really low on energy and hear music and suddenly get that perk to dance and I am instantly alert.

Also prayer helps me tremendously.  I am so thankful I work in a Christian school, and the principal is truly caring and will stop and pray with us.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

I believe in loving someone is more blessed, because I love to give to others and do for others.  

7. What is your bedtime routine?

           I read - this helps relax my mind unless I am already exhausted then I will just wash up and crawl into bed and close my eyes...

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

He actually found my Yahoo profile and messaged me on Messenger.  I never forget that time; I was dozing off in bed, and had my Messenger on Mobile.  I got this text message from someone who was introducing himself "hi my name is Tiny." and I'm like "huh?" Then he corrects himself "Tony."  We started messaging each other and right away, he said "I'd like to take you out." I was all surprised and hesitant at first.  I did play hard-to-get, partly because I really was busy with college and work and then, because I was hesitant and did not want a relationship at all.  The first time we talked on the phone I straight up told him, I was not looking for a relationship, and he called me "anti-commitment."  Within a few weeks though, we were dating and inseparable and romantically hopefully passionately in love, and here we are, five years later, happily married.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

I would love love love to go back in time and watch Frida Kahlo paint.  She is my favorite Mexican icon; when I think of Mexico, instantly I think of her and her talent.  

10. What kinds of books do you read?

For awhile, I was hooked on books with Latino names. I could only relate to books which had something Latino in it, some Spanish and some flavor. I can still read The House on Mango Street over and over.




I also enjoy Ana Castillo; her novels touch me right to the core.  One of my dreams is to see my last name right by theirs on the book shelf at the library.

But now I have branched out to the supernatural genre.  Here are a few book series I am hooked on right now.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

Happily married with kids, whatever Gods gives us, I do want about four though.  

12. What’s your fear?

That something will happen to my husband or my family.  But I trust in God to take care of them, so I do not allow myself to be paranoid.  But those fears do cross my mind from time to time like when he's late home and hasn't called or when sickness attacks my family I am afraid it will be terminal.  

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

No way I love junk food too much, and outer space gives me the creeps!  I am a big scaredy cat, always picture aliens with big eyes coming to attack!  

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?

Married but poor!  Yep, the marriage vows sure do say "for richer for poorer" and right now, we are experiencing one of those "poorer" moments, and we are sticking it out.  

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Look at my phone to see the time or if someone has texted me.  

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

The way he butts in when I am cooking sometimes! I love that he helps in the kitchen which is a major blessing, but when I am cooking and I want to make the food my way, it annoys the hell out of me!  He will come in suggesting some more comino, I swear he is crazy about comino!  Or salt, and I am like "Nombre!!  My blood pressure!"  But he is learning...I just have to remind him...lovingly to leave the kitchen and let me cook!  

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

something that could be said in Spanish !  I think my name is way tooooo English.  

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

Yes I think I have done that recently actually.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

Wendy's chicken nuggets with BBQ sauce!

Restless Nights

I have been off my meds for anxiety for quite awhile now, several months.  And... I have been doing great, taking deep breaths, controlling myself, not freaking out over little things, living great with no built-up pressure on my chest, pressing till I can't breathe, - haven't had any of those symptoms.

However, for some reason, must be tied-up worry that is knotted up inside my head or something, I keep waking up in the middle of the night, like several times.  I glance at the clock and see various times blinking at me from the red digits on the alarm clock and I feel a little rush like a thought of the day or something I have to do.

Maybe, my mom's surgery which is coming up really soon, hopefully next week if all goes well with the doctors in Houston.  I have had mixed feelings about this, during the day I am not worried, the tension is not there, but for some reason, at night, in the middle of the night, I awake with fright and tension and full of sweat like I have been running a marathon.  Who knows?  Then I dream of other things like my brother's divorce and seeing his soon-to-be-ex wife. I think of how lonely my big bro is, and I pray for happiness for him. I also dreamed I was pregnant and gave birth to twins - a baby boy wrapped in a soft blue blanket and a baby girl in a plush pink blanket.  That was the sweetest dream since I do want to mother children, and we have been trying, despite the female problems which say I cannot get pregnant.

The other night I had the strangest dream that I saw one of my uncles who has already passed away, and it really gripped me, like so tight, I have not spoken these words.  It gripped me right to the core, choking me, cutting off air.  It was comforting to see my uncle; he was one of my favorites, and I do miss him dearly, but... I remember dreaming him, and people dying soon later.  Like he comes to take them to Heaven or something, so of course it had me worried about my dad who has been working a lot of extra over-time hours, and my mom who is about to have kidney surgery.  I just keep praying though that our lives are in God's hands and may all we do - be for his glory and according to his will.

Still at night, all the anxiety and fears attack me full-force.  I honestly feel like drinking wine or a wine cooler at night just to relax me and put me in a drunken mood so I sleep well, since that has worked before.  But... then I don't want to wake up with a dreaded head-ache and have to go teach.  I try to keep my blog positive, but sometimes I just need to pour out a little bit and release a little.  So I can breathe a little easier.

HECHIZEROS-VS-MASORE"SOLO PA BAILAR 2010" MIX DJ.GUERO

Music helps me move and gives me energy, so I work faster. I was just listening to this mix as I finish entering my grades for the past week. Already finished!!

TGIV - Thank God it's Viernes

Hoy es Viernes y estoy muy feliz, porque voy a descansar esta fin de semana!  


Fridays are usually real laid-back at work for me.  I have a bilingual computer class at the college in the morning, and I only had one student show up today, so that made my morning simple.   My student hardly asked for help... Ya sabe como manejar la computudora.  So I finished up some paper-work, that necessary part of being a teacher.  


In the afternoon, I taught Spanish, reviewed los verbos, y hablamos en Espanol para practicar mas.  The students are improving, learning some, but those little burdens of high school kept them from fully paying attention to la maestra.  Por ejemplo, los muchachos, jugando y jugando mas!  Pegando uno a otro y se reindo de todo! I had to write some referrals, but I didn't lose my patience.  Then the 10th grade class comes in, who are more mature, but today the girls wanted to chismar about another girl, whispering and glancing at the girl sitting in the back, making it all obvious they were talking about her.  The poor girl was frustrated, and I had to tell her, "it's ok, next week they will be talking about someone else."  That's how high school is, verdad?  Every week, every day hell, they are talking about someone, then the rumors start.  Y despues, they move on to the next person.  Chisme! Chisme!  


Guess what? I finally made a FB badge for my blog so y'all can see what I look like, and y'all can add me, just let me know if you are a follower so I won't be like who is this stranger trying to add me ?  

Escribiendo en Spanglish de Bailando!

He decidido compartir con ustedes algunas de mis canciones favoritas para bailar.
Mi marido y yo - todo el tiempo -cuando hay un baile con cumbias tropicales - BAILAMOS! toda la noche!  hasta que no se podemos bailar no más.


Esto es mi GRUPO FAVORITO!! El Grupo Massore con Erick Sanchez - el muchachito chulito! 

Every time they come to town, we are there, no matter, if it's the hottest beer joint in town, or the biggest dance floor, we are there, dancing away. I don't mean to brag, but when I walk into the club, people already start texting me that they see us, dancing, and why haven't I stopped to say hi?  

After several dances and twirls around the dance floor, till I am so dizzy, the room is spinning!   Todo el tiempo, me gusta bailar con vueltas!  My husband gets me iced cold water, and he sips a cerveza with lime and salt, todo preparado.  For some reason, I don't like to drink alcohol when I am dancing.  Water is just fine and cools me off.  When we dance, we sweat, it's our cardio work-out of the week! Me canse mucho - el dia siguiente! Como no podia levantar de la cama! 


Sabes que?  Me encanto los mexicanos porque nunca tiene pena para bailar!  Y - se pueden bailar muy bien.  Los hombres y las senoras juntos.  


Last time we went to the club to dance, we had a great time, dancing to the new Cumbia Mixes soooo fast!  

I saw several of my ESL students, and it was like a reunion, because I had not seen them in a long time.  Some of the students from my Reading class at the college saw me too.  They told me Monday morning in class, that they were surprised to see their "teacher" at the "club."  Ahh, that's why I love teaching adults, I can party with my students! 

Exactly One Month until Valentine's Day

While a young single woman in college, I still celebrated Valentine's Day.  You see, somewhere along the way,  my group of friends and I decided, even though we were single, we were gonna celebrate, and spend time together, and yes, buy each other gifts.  Let me also mention, my first year of college, I was 18 years old, enjoying new-found freedom to a certain extent though since I lived under my parent's roof - strict, old-fashioned parents.  

I started to celebrate Valentine's Day with several handsome young men, yes young men, who dressed to the nines - dressed to the nines with collared shirts and slacks and shiny dress shoes.  Most of them looked like they had stepped off the cover of GQ - no kidding!  I was infatuated with some of them, but I know they wouldn't or couldn't be attracted to me, because...they were all gay.  Yes, I have been and still am today, one big "fag hag."  

So we went go out to lunch or dinner, spoiling each other with hugs, compliments, and adorable heart-shaped boxes of chocolates.  I laughed, loved, and cherished these moments.  We were all single during these times, dreaming of that special man, but still enjoying each other's company.  Many times, we would go to Mexican restaurants - for free water and appetizers of chips and queso.  There would be mariachis with slow songs that murmured true love.  These were the moments of being single and still being loved by men - just in a different way.  

I did not meet my husband until my last year in college, by then our group had spread apart.  Some of the guys had transferred to bigger universities or the workforce.
So it just left me and one of my best friends, Abee, and I told him that "Valentine's Day is our tradition" so we continue to celebrate together.  He is still single, the sentimental queen, but I hope and pray he meets that right person one day to truly have a Valentine's sweetheart.  

Marriage and Divorce

Forgive me for the oxymoron title, but that's on my mind tonight.  Saturday, we went to a beautiful wedding for some friends of ours from church.  The mass remains the best memory I have of the wedding; of course, I got all teary-eyed as I always do at weddings.  I was especially sentimental, because they got married in the same church where my husband and I got married.  The dearest memories I hold in my heart are from my wedding.  One day I'll blog all about it and post pics.  

Anyway so we spent nearly all day at the wedding, the reception, the baile, todo!  My hubby spun me around the dance-floor several times, and we enjoyed los brindis y el pastel tambien.  To me, the best part of the dance was the groom dancing a cumbia around the dance floor with his abuelita to some good Ramon Ayala songs!!  

Now on to the next topic - divorce.  Tonight I worked at the college to make some phone calls to my ESL students, letting them know class resumes next week. I called one of the men in my class who had not been coming since like October.  He spoke to me in very very good English, explaining to me what had been happening in his life.  Divorce.  That dreaded word hit me.  I could hear the pain in his voice as he said "I don't know what happened; my wife said she no love me no more.  I hurt a lot... my feelings are hurt."  I kept saying "I understand; I am sorry."  Then he goes on to share how they were married fifteen years and all of a sudden, she stops loving him.  The worse news came - he had to move about 100 miles away to Houston, because he had no family here and nowhere to stay.  So he cannot come to ESL class anymore, but that's NOT the worst news.  The worst news - he has not seen his kids in several months and he misses them so much.  I thought he was going to cry right there with me on the phone.  


I was shocked that someone could stop loving this honest, hard-working man who is so cabellero! He does not seem like a "macho, yo mando ; yo soy el jefe!" type of man.  I remember him clearly from class; he was always early with soft brown eyes and a gentle voice, not mean or dominating at all.  I know there are two sides to every story, but I could clearly, so clearly, hear pain in this man's voice.  I do not understand divorce; how some people can just turn love off as easily as turning off a light.  

I know my own marriage is far from perfect, but as I always, say - there are more ups then downs, and we learn to grow with each other with every trial and obstacle.  I also trust that God has joined us to truly be one; we share so many joys between us, and we have so many special moments, and I know that I could not dream of being with anyone else, other than my husband.  

Making Carne Guisada & Blog Hoppin

One of the first dishes my mom taught me to cook is carne guisada, smothered in a dark red gravy and filled with flavor.  The key to cooking good carne guisada, so it comes out tender, so tender, it falls apart when you grab a piece with your tortilla - is the meat, the pot, and the timing.  

To make good carne guisada, the best meat I use is TX style-boneless shoulder ribs, but you can use other types like shoulder roast or sirloin or already cut-up stew meat.  I always trim off the fat, in the back of my mind, I try to cook healthy.  I cut up into small about 1 inch pieces.  


The best way I cook carne guisada is using a big pot with a lid, so there is plenty of room for the meat to simmer and let out steam.  A dutch oven works best; I have my trusty T-Fal blue pot with the matching lid that works great for carne guisada.  I brown the meat with about a tablespoon of oil and sautee some white onion and green pepper with it for about 7-10 minutes, then mas facil - let it simmer for about an hour or an hour and half or two hours, depending on how tender you want it.  

I add a can of tomato sauce, a can full of water, salt, pepper, comino for seasoning, and a sprinkle of garlic powder.  I also use garlic powder sparingly because garlic is such a strong flavor that can be over-powering if you use too much of it.  Sometimes, if I want a thicker gravy, I'll add a tip of a teaspoon corn starch or a teaspoon of flour.  I would list a full recipe here, but I am unsure of the correct amounts.  Everyone has their own variations on how they cook carne guisada, but this is my favorite way and the best flavor in my opinion! 

Rice and beans taste delicious on the side or some fideo with tomatoes, onion, and green pepper.  Some papas on the side or mixed in go good too.  


My mom never taught me to cook with accurate measurements; I learned just by watching.  I can read and follow recipes very well now, but I still love the dishes she taught me to cook; those remain my favorite.  Also one of the best lessons she taught me, and sadly, shhhh, I forget it sometimes, TASTE your food to make sure it tastes good!  Sometimes I get in a hurry and I think - oh it's fine, then my dinner table guests are kindly asking for salt and pepper.  

I am hard on myself at times about how well I cook or when I make a mistake when cooking, I just wanna shut-down and not even eat.  But I've learned along the way from watching my mom cook and hearing her yell at me over and over, that we learn from our mistakes and we cannot just give up and order take-out.  That was a big no-no in my house.  So today I am thankful for those lessons from the kitchen on cooking and life as well.  


Blog hoppin today as well !!  

Feliz Dia de Los Tres Reyes

Teaching Spanish Tomorrow - Return to Work

I am looking forward to teaching tomorrow.   I do enjoy teaching; it has been my main focus for the past five years.  This is my first year teaching Spanish, so it takes extra time to plan.  I am fluent in the language, but in no way am I perfect!  There are still words and concepts I come across which I am not 100 % sure about teaching.  For instance last night, I started writing the rough draft of my lesson plans, and I ran into "direct object" which I know in English of course.  I had to think of how I use it in Spanish and really think...  Remembering - just about everything in English and Spanish- is en reversa.   

I thought about Friday when I went to visit my tia, and I was telling her how our neighbors killed the chickens which kept wandering off into our yard and on the sidewalk and even in the parking lot.  They were big beautiful chickens with soft feathers and full bodies ... and this is what I said "se mataron y se comieron!" My tia looked at me with a confused look on her face, and my mom started laughing real loud and said "No, LAS MATARON Y LAS COMIERON!"  Then I cracked up laughing as well. (The neighbors did not share the chicken either, but I imagine they tasted delicious!) 

So Saturday night, I glanced at the chart of direct objects listed, and realized... yes I do use them, not always correctly, but I use them.  Then I got that feeling - you know that triumph that says "Yes, I got it!"