Wee Bit of Me Wednesday

{one} how often do you do laundry?

about once or twice a week, not my favorite thing to do either! 

{two} what is your favorite type of cookie?

Oreos

{three} what would you do with an extra $2000 per month?

pay off some debts - feels better to be debt-free

{four} what was/is your favorite subject in school?

English and Spanish

{five} have you ever ridden in a hot air balloon?

no but it would be fun! 

{six} what was your high school mascot?

Cowboys

{seven} if you had the chance to go into space, would you?

no, not exactly my top interest.  

{eight} how often do you go dancing?

about once a month

{nine} would you rather drive or fly?

depends on amount of time for driving if too long, then I'd rather fly.  

{ten} have you ever been caught re-gifting?

nope, thank goodness! I don't re-gift often.  

A WeeBit of Me

Even though it's clearly not Wednesday .... 

{one} scruffy or clean shaven?

Scruffy, if not I feel like I'm kissing a woman haha.  

{two} what’s your favorite sundae topping?

chocolate syrup and strawberries 

{three} do you own slippers?

yes...they are in the closet somewhere  I wear chanclas more

{four} did you ever have a tree house?

Nope! I am afraid of heights. 

{five} how do you relieve stress?

I pray or I cry or I yell - whatever I am feeling.  Sometimes, if it's accompanied with anxiety - I have a margarita - really calms my nerves. 

{six} what’s your favorite dr. seuss book?

Green Eggs and Ham; I am not ashamed to admit I was in the low reading group in 2nd grade and we read it, then celebrated with green eggs and ham.  Sweet memories!

{seven} have you ever taken dance classes?

hell no! I am not that coordinated.  My hubby has been my dancing teacher, and he can move his hips well.  You know what they say - if he can move well on the dance floor, he can move well in the bedroom, lmao!  

{eight} which do you use more: the thesaurus or the dictionary?

I use them equally 

{nine} what’s your favorite form of exercise?

Water Aerobics or Dancing or both in the water

{ten} what’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line?

2 hours; it was back when Wal-Mart had layaway, and I was picking up a Christmas gift for a family member.  

always the big girl ... Part II

As most of you know by now, I am pregnant, blessed to be pregnant, and happy pregnant.  But... I have not announced it to everyone just yet.  My family knows and most of my close friends.  People at work know; my teenage students know, and every day the girls are asking me about weird cravings or mood swings.  

Yes, I have had cravings, mainly for hamburgers.  I think it's from watching movies like Home Fries and seeing Whataburger commercials; the beef just looks so juicy and the wheat bread so soft and the lettuce so crisp, I have to taste one!  I have not been eating them like crazy only like two a week.  

As far as mood swings, I take those out on my husband, lol.  They have not been extreme though, thank God.  I continue to remind myself that - everything I feel affects the baby, so I try my best to be happy and calm. I even read recently that anxiety can affect the baby and cause the baby to be anxious in life, talk about genetics!  


Anyway, I am writing to say why I have not told the whole world I am pregnant, because sadly a lot of people have been thinking I already am!  Mainly women from church.  I love our church, it's very traditional Hispanic and Catholic, but unfortunately, that comes with groups of gossipy middle-aged and elderly ladies who have been patting my stomach and asking "when's the baby due?"  Sometimes, I disregarded the question or shook my head.  Some of them would be rude about it though, constantly prying and asking "well why aren't you pregnant yet?"  It got to the point where I stopped wearing dresses to avoid the attention to my round belly which just comes with being plus-sized.  Now, that I really am pregnant, I do not tell those ladies; I figure they will find out soon enough.  I am barely two months, I am not showing a lot, my stomach has swelled some, but it's not sticking out.  


Then the other day, my mother-in-law has to throw in my face how she and her divorced 20 year old adopted daughter NEVER wear low-cut shirts and show their breasts.  But I remember very clearly, her daughter wearing strapless shirts showing all her shoulders and low-cut hipster jeans showing off her skin.  My suegra kept telling me repeatedly, "tu tienes mucho! tu tienes mucho!" I was thinking "y que?" Instead I told her bravely, "Usted y tu hija no tienen nada" with a laugh, so it was not too harsh.  She just had to reply with the same repeat -  "tu tienes mucho! tu tienes mucho!" I literally did, roll my eyes, and tell her "y van a crecer mas!"  Her reply this time - nada! Just a little awkward moment of silence.  

What does it matter if my breasts are big?  My mom told me I should have told her "y tu hijo le gusta!"  My hubby's padrino said, I should her told her "Y tu! Tan envidiosa!"  My sis-in-law said "You got it, flaunt it!"


That really annoys me though how people can pay attention to the outside so much and point out these little or big details so much, what does it matter?  I get so annoyed hearing about her perfect little daughter is, and how perfect her other son is, that I have thrown back my remarks, never in a disrespectful manner though, because my mama raised me to always respect my elders even when they are acting a fool.    I just think, I am going to get bigger, being pregnant, and I need to surround myself with positive people who are going to point out -that life is growing inside me, not that I am gaining extra weight...  

Exciting New Changes in My Life

I have been so busy the past week with little time to stop and read blogs or even blog myself.  However, it has been a happy, exciting, kind of busy.  Not the dreaded, I have so much to do, will life ever slow down, busy.  More like the exciting, can't wait till next dr. appointment busy.  


Last week, we received some wonderful, truly a gift from God, news.  My husband and I are expecting our first baby!  That's right, I am about 7 weeks pregnant.  I suspected for a couple of weeks with nausea and a late period, so I decided to buy a pregnancy test.  Of all places, the dollar store.  We thought "ok it's only a dollar if it comes out negative..."  But it didn't; it came out positive nearly immediately, and I went to sleep with a big smile on my face, and kept asking myself "is this real?"   


Immediately the following day, I went to the women's clinic and got tested, and yes, positive again.  I was so happy I wanted to cry; we had been praying for this for some time now.  We went to the church chapel to give thanks to God.  Only through God can this miracle of life be possible.  


Months ago, I was discouraged of pregnancy because of health problems, primarily high blood pressure and high risk of diabetes.  Since then I have made some lifestyle changes, primarily in my diet.  Over the course of time, I have spoken with different health professionals and received different advice and opinions.  
The advise and encouragement that stood out was "yes, there are women with high blood pressure who get pregnant all the time; they just need to take the right meds to keep the blood pressure down, yes it's possible."  As far as diabetes, I feel a lot more healthier with my sugar intakes now.  


In September of 2010, I became quite ill with what the doctors suspected was endometriosis and advised to get back on the birth control pill.  I tried, but the birth control gave me horrible migraines, so I stopped it.  The doctor said it would take up to a year to be normal and have regular cycles, and birth control was the only way to regulate it.  I decided against that, felt I could bear the cramps and irregular periods, if it meant I would be able to possible - conceive.  I left it in God's hands and prayed that His will be done.  I prayed a lot for healing, even prayed for God to take the negative thoughts away and teach me to trust in Him and not science and what the doctors said.  

I had a couple of false pregnancies with my late periods, so this time I wasn't too excited when I was two weeks late.  I just thought "it's another false alarm...there's going to be blood next time I go to the rest room."  But all along, I was feeling different, more urgency to go to the rest room, more nausea, annoying saliva in my mouth, extreme fatigue, seriously all I want is to lay down and sleep.  But today I truly felt alive, like the realization that life is growing within me, and it's all praise to God.  


I went shopping at HEB for some healthy nutritional foods and I actually enjoyed it, instead of dreading  walking down the busy aisles.  I know there will be ups and downs and more morning sickness, but I am determined to have the best attitude I can have about this pregnancy.  I understand there will be trials ahead, such as finding a bigger home and dealing with stress of teaching 9th graders, but I know at the end of the day, my body is changing and there's life within me, growing and feeling.  


I leave you with this ... every woman should remember... God is always with us, He is blessing us and taking care of us with unfailing love, and He will give you your heart's desire, even when you least expect it.  

always the big girl ...

Growing up was not easy being the "big girl." Buying clothes was a task, nothing would fit, no matter how hard I tried to squeeze into the junior hipster jeans. This was before the time of Junior Plus clothes. I had to wear a bra when I was like ten years old! So embarassing! My mom altered my clothes to fit me right; she treated me lovingly though, never demanding I diet or run miles to lose weight. Always supportive, reminding me that God made me. She supported me during my dieting/exercising phases when I did shed pounds. She supported me in my happy times like right now, I am not trying to change how I look; I am in a happy state of being the big girl, a happy state of acceptance.

I am truly thankful for the people in life who treated me con carino, the best way to translate that - with endearment, with love, without criticism. My mom always told me I was "gordita." Adding that "ita," saying it con carino. These are precious memories which I treasure, because it was said with love. I was taught to value my heart, let my actions reflect the type of person I am, not my body size.

It has not always been like this though ... I do still have hurtful memories. The road certainly hasn't been easy. It has been full of bumps I'd stumble over, hills I climbed, and holes I fell in and scraped my knees. In high school, a group of cheerleaders laughed, pointed, and whispered words like "fat." My only comfort then was in my books where I lost myself and almost constantly imagined myself a different slimmer person, thinking that would bring me happiness.

It was not until my adult life that I gained acceptance, learning how to dress correctly to fit my figure. I also learned that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of those bad memories re-surfaced again though. Before my husband and I got married, his mom said some mean hateful things that I was fat and needed to lose weight to fit into a wedding dress. She also said that she could put me on a diet so I wouldn't be "gordita" anymore. I was hurt, really hurt, like how could she say that? Why not look at the fact that I love her son? I was also hurt to learn my soon-to-be mother-in-law could be so superficial. Numerous times later, I learned more of her criticisms, her telling me in her broken English, "you too heavy that's why you knee hurt" or "come mas ensaladas, mas fruta, yo no como dulces, no como mucho pan, es mucho carbs."

Then the time, she bragged how she and her daughter were going to yoga, and it was so good for the body, "you lose inches, not weight, inches," putting her thin hand on her bone of a hip. "you need to do something" she repeated over and over till I rolled my eyes and I told her I was busy with something else.

Almost every time I see her, she tries to get me to eat more fruit or more of something "healthy" she made. Or as I eat, she will watch me, or try to persuade me to eat less. It is so uncomfortable, that I have nearly given up on eating around her at all. This is only a little bit of how she can be.

I was raised to love myself the way God made me and not let others put me down. I love myself and know I have far better qualities then a thin chick with no brain. Honestly, what brings me great comfort is knowing that people like my suegra who pick on other people are really insecure themselves.

Every Woman Should ... Have Balance in Her Life

So often we have to be,
so many roles, wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, 
whatever our career demands of us.  


How do we find time for ourselves?  
Just a little bit of time to do what we want
what we need to do so we keep a balance in our life.  

Every woman should ... have balance in her life.  
Do something for about an hour or so -  that you enjoy.  
Not something you HAVE to do, something you want to do.  


No, I am not saying put yourself above your family, 
but put some time aside just for you.  


We all deserve that, a little time for our own independence, 
to grow as a person, and keep our sanity, too.  


Last week, I spent some time sewing which was relaxing.  I read somewhere online that needlepoint, sewing, crocheting, all help lower blood pressure.  My blood pressure started off elevated when I had trouble loading the bobbin.  I wanted to cuss up a storm and just stop, como ya no mas! voy a dormir! But no I was determined as I usually am about new projects.  I kept on trying and trying till I had the bobbin loaded with the strong red thread.  Once I got started, I finished up a fabric book cover that I put on a plain blue 3-ring binder.  Then I sewed about nine heart-shaped potholders Valentines; I got the idea from the Martha Stewart site.  I found that when it comes to sewing, I really am like my mom.  I tried using the heart-shaped pattern, but after awhile, I had the hang of cutting out the hearts from the material by myself - no pattern.  They are cute little pot holders, but I need to finish the ribbon trim, just haven't made it to Wal-Mart yet.  Then, I'll post some pics.  Sewing was relaxing once I had the hang of it, and my husband even sat with me the last hour and encouraged me.  So thankful I had the time to have some balance - not all work and no play, got to "play" with the sewing machine.  

5 Day Writing Challenge Start - Catching up - *long post*

Lady Blogger's Society posted some interesting writing prompts.  Today I am playing catch-up for Mon-Wed.  

Monday: SOMETHING YOU’VE OUTGROWN?

Shopping excessively and credit cards...  During my early 20's, I had almost every credit card to every department store.  Especially Dillards', because I worked there while in college.  It didn't help that I was the salesgirl marking down fashionable purses and fabulous jewelry that I quickly put aside, so I could purchase on my lunch-break.  I was a shop-aholic to the ultimate power.  I racked up credit card debt really high.  When there was a sale, well there was a sale, I bought one in each color. Compulsive buyer- I just couldn't say No!  I kept thinking how much I was saving, so that provided that cushion to charging or spending part of my pay-check. I can relate completely and sadly to Confessions of a Shopaholic.  

Why do you think it happened?

I think that almost every woman goes through this.  Yes, I spent and I charged, but I did it responsibly in a way.  I made sure the bills were paid before I went on a shopping spree.  I worked in retail for 3 years; I think that was the main reason that drew me to stores - hell I was already there.  And, I was weak to salespeople, really WEAK! They just had to tell me something looked great or it made me look thinner or it brought out the highlights in my hair.  I never forget that one, because after I bought the bright orange shirt, I thought what highlights?

I grew out of it, right around the time I was finishing college and going through a major change in my life.  I realized that having material things does not matter as much, and I do not NEED all these things.  Also, my husband helped me rid of a lot of credit card debt by helping me control my spending habits.  Partly, because we were dating which took time away from shopping, and then before I knew it, we were planning our wedding, which YES, you bet - took time.  As a result, I learned to appreciate the little things in life more, the simple pleasures.  Yes, I still enjoy shopping; nearly every woman does, verdad?  But I don't spend as much as I used to, and I have one credit card now.  

Tuesday:  Are you RED or PINK?

Hell yes, soy roja! I blush when I get embarrassed.  I see RED when I am angry which doesn't happen often. To me, RED is the color of many feelings, and I am a sentimental, easily crying, easily laughing type of person.  I am as red as fire that will warms or burns - burning doesn't happen often at all!  I am a big sweetheart inside, like those big red sweetheart boxes of chocolate, mostly full of goodies ;).  Red is my trademark color, my favorite color, the color that wraps itself around me. I am red, because I am full of energy most of the time, I get really hyper sometimes, mostly at night! Night owl I am! 

Wednesday:  Connection

I've connected with some wonderful "friends" on blogs.  Is it sad that I'd rather check your blogs and tweets then talk to my "real" friends lol?  Sometimes, I just feel a stronger connection with my online friends.  I also feel like maybe we have this cosmic connection, because often, like really often, our blog topics are similar or our answers on surveys are similar or we are watching the same movie.  Or we feel the same about our suegras, and I am like "yes, I am not the only one!"  I am thankful for all the lovely friends I've met online, some I have known for years, like my best friend in AZ, and some I have met more recently like Amanda Roo, my blog twin.  Either way, I am thankful and I love you dearly from the bottom of my heart.