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M & M cookies and Hot Chocolate

Before I go to sleep, I decided to have a  snack of freshly baked M&M cookies and warm hot chocolate.  Here in south Texas, we finally have a real cold front.  The weather is nice and crisp during the day with the sun shining so warmly, and the wind adds a chill to the air.   I am loving it!  


I had a craving for cookies while I was watching an episode of Dead Like Me.  I thought I'll just go to Walgreens, since it is literally next-door, but then I didn't feel like getting dressed.  I was already in my pajamas, lounging around.  So I dug through the cupboard and found a sugar cookie mix.  I mixed up the dough real fast and dropped in the M&Ms last.  Within minutes, the kitchen smelled like freshly baked cookies, one of the best aromas, that reminds me so much of holidays!  So that's how I spent my Black Friday evening.  I did not do any shopping today; there was nothing I could live without.  Besides, I thought the crowds would cause a panic attack, too many people in one place, and I start to feel claustrophobic, like can't breathe, get me out of here, I need fresh air! 


My hubby went to sleep early (as needed) for his job, and lately, I find myself missing him so much! He goes to sleep around 7 or 8 p.m. every night, and I am here in the apartment by myself, feeling so lonely.  That's early for me to go to sleep, so I usually stay up till 11 or 12 a.m - just my nature, I cannot go to sleep early.  I will be a night owl, my whole life, I already know! 


Maybe, I need another hobby or something.  Let's see, I already love to read, write, scrapbook, cook, bake, - what else to do? I spend time on the Internet as well, and occasionally I go visit a friend or they come over.  But it's not the same as being curled up on the couch with my hubby, watching movies or talking.  We even do chores together.  I guess I need to keep adjusting to this "new" job, he has had for 3 months already.  Any tips?  I would visit my family, but they are thirty minutes away, and I am not close to my in-laws; that's a whole other story, lol.  What else can I do when I feel lonely though?  

Music of My Youth - Selena

Don't get me wrong, I still consider myself in my youth, just a different stage.  But ...  


When I think of music growing up, I immediately hear Selena.  I was just a little girl when her music became popular.  I remember both my big sisters playing her music loudly, talking about her wearing the "bustier" that looked like a bra with sequins.  I remember her songs being played loudly as we drove to town and everyone singing along.  Every Selena song has a catchy tune that grabs your attention and keeps you listening.  


I can recognize Selena's music anywhere I am, and I do love to dance to the cumbias.  She remains a truly gifted and talented singer in Tejano music, because I promise you every Tejano radio station will play one of her songs every day, if not more.  


What I admired most about Selena was her audacity to do her own thing whether she was wearing something different or going after a dream; she did not show any fear as she approached every new challenge in life.  She made it in Tejano music as the lead singer of a band, when Tejano music was dominated by males.  She stood out and she was heard.  Today I still hear her music and nearly every song has a unique memory to it.  I get all nostalgic when I hear the music, remembering so many good times hearing her music.  

For example, "Dreaming of You" and "I Could Fall in Love" were the two songs that helped sustain a hope of true love.  "I Could Fall in Love" was the melody that played years ago when my husband and I first began dating.  We were in the first stage of our relationship; this was a time I was unsure of commitment, even a little afraid, but that song "I Could Fall in Love" played over and over in my mind.  

"Bidi Bom Bom" and "Baila Esta Cumbia" remind me of my teenage years, going to quinceaneras and dancing with my friends, around and around the dance floor.  "Como La Flor" is my best friend's song whose last name is "Flores."  I love "Como La Flor," because the message is remarkable, about blooming again.  I truly believe that, at some point of our lives, we all do.  We bloom again...  

I Give Thanks!

I am going to play catch-up from my blog-reading and blog-writing as well.  The weekend was a lot of fun.  The retreat went really well; it was a short half day retreat to help the candidates who are receiving Holy Communion and Confirmation.  We talked about the Rite of Acceptance and how the church as a community accepts them all and welcomes them.  

My hubby and I ended up spending the afternoon and night with our future 19 year old god-son.  He is a young adult, but a big kid at heart.  We were invited to a birthday party at our future compadres' house.  The weather felt great with 70 degrees in the air and slowly dropping.  I was able to sport my new grey Mudd boots, too.  The party was outdoors, and the cool air felt so nice! Just cool enough to wear a light sweater, but warm enough not to shiver.  


The best part of the birthday party was the family getting together.  There are eleven kids in all in the family so that created a big crowd, but then tias showed up with their kids as well, so it was packed!  We had a blast.  I truly admire big families and the love among them.  That's my goal - to have a big family, so they are inspiration to see how well they get along and well they fight in a playful way ;).  


We ate some pork dish that reminded me of posole only it was covered in a dark red gravy and filled with a rich flavor.   Rice and beans accompanied the main dish.  On every picnic table, the ladies placed warm corn tortillas wrapped in aluminum foil.  Everyone was so giving and welcoming; I truly experienced that with the Rodriguez family. 

The mom made a tall Spiderman pinata that was nearly as tall as the birthday boy, let me mention, the birthday boy just turned 26! He wanted his party though and he had it, con comida, pinata, y el pastel tambien!  We listened to loud Mexican music like Los Tigres; they played a version of Las Mañanitas with a little bit of banda!  


Here's the funny part about the pinata, ya sabes que era tan grande!  So the kids DID NOT hit it; the adults did.  At first, my husband and I were suprised, but then the laughing started among everyone.  Two of the guys jumped on the roof so the rope was swung between two houses, and the Spiderman twirled around, up and down, side to side!  The adults had a hard time hitting it.  I even had a chance to hit it, because la mama insisted.  My hubby hit it hard about three times as well, and we were all waiting for it to bust.  It took a long time though; I began to wonder - what's in that pinata? bricks?  


By the time, we got our candy, they were broken in half from all the hitting, but we enjoyed it nonetheless.  The final part of the evening were sweet chocolate cupcakes that resembled rats!!  The best part was what la mama told me.  I said, "hay que lindos, los pastelitos, para los ninos."  She responded, "No, para la familia, y somos familia."  I beamed with thanks for her words.  I wanted to hug her right at that moment and say "thank you for accepting me, just the way I am."  

The irony of our weekend was that here we are, accepting our future god-son into the Catholic Church as a rite of passage, but my hubby and I both felt accepted into his family with their giving hearts.  

A Little Stressed...

I might as well be all truthful on this blog, not hide anything.  The cold weather has rushed in, like big ice cubes falling on my bones.  Don't get me wrong, I love the cold weather, but it's going to be a hard winter, so hard that my bones ache with pain and my joints hurt to even move.  Last week it was my knee, I could barely bend it, I wanted to be in bed all weekend! The doctor said it was pain from a past injury; I didn't even know I had an injury! This week it's my shoulder.  Pero YA, no mas quejando.  I gotta be strong and pray that I will get through this!


There's a little bit of drama in my family right now.  My big bro, mi hermano, is going through a separation, and pobrecito, he misses his wife, but for some crazy reason, the puta does not want to be with him anymore.  Quien sabe?  I could say a lot of ugly mean things, but I remind myself, we gotta love our enemies, verdad?   


My mom is preparing to have a kidney removed due to kidney cancer; she remains strong physically, going to her doctor appointments and getting all those tests done.   The other day she spent four hours at the cardiologist's office, getting her heart checked out. I am so glad that her heart is strong and healthy, that's a blessing in itself.  Among all of this, she still plans the Thanksgiving meal.  But...  she's falling apart emotionally, because of my brother.  You know not until sh*t hits the fan, do I realize how much we need my mom to be strong and be the rock of the family, but right now, no es posible.  So I am the one, reminding my mom - be strong, trust in God, ya ya, tienes su fe...  

As for me, I am teaching my 12 hour days and at the same time, helping organize this retreat for church on Saturday.  I am looking forward to a quiet day of prayer and preparation for the blessing of acceptance for our new members of our parish. We are going to be padrinos of two young adults, feels weird, knowing we will have 2 godchildren, but they are young adults already like 19 and 20 years old.  It's an experience...  


I volunteered to bake a lot of banana bread and cupcakes - both are my specialties.  I did not realize when I was volunteering that -there will be about 100 people at this retreat.  So I'll be Mrs. Betty Crocker Friday afternoon.   


I have not had a migraine all week - yay!!!  But knock on wood, because them kids might get so loud, the migraine forms, but no I am focusing on being strong and not letting sickness conquer.  I have a little OCD, and ADD, and many of those abbreviated illnesses that start in the brain, oh I forgot the biggest problem, ANXIETY.  But I have been controlling myself and taking deep breaths, even when parents are complaining about me at work (when their child won't sit down and listen!) and sending me grammatically incorrect e-mails.  Even when people want to act crazy, mejor que hay una pendeja y no dos! 


It's all good - I'll take it with patience and understanding, no other way.  Every woman should ... take life like that ... with more patience and understanding.  Every woman should ... pray for it every morning.  Because I know there are those times when I don't have any myself.  ;) 

Gracias a Larita para el premio!

I pass it forward to ---
whoever stops by this blog and comments.  There are too many blogs I follow, read, and enjoy, so I cannot pick out just a few.

Many thanks to Larita though for recognizing me, made me feel special.

Teaching the Joy Luck Club

Thursday I was getting ready to teach my Reading/Literature Class at the college, and I realized many of the students were absent.  Yes, Veteran's Day, holiday, so they were probably home taking care of the kids.  About 7 ladies peered at me from behind their assigned reading books.  We went through our lesson of Context Clues, and I realized - we need something interesting, something to keep their attention.  I glanced over at some of the ladies who are second language learners of English and thought of a book they could relate to.   

After browsing through our class sets of books, I found a selection from The Joy Luck Club.    The holds dear to me as one of those books which features strong ideas about women, family, and our roles.  We started reading the excerpt, and the ladies continued, listening to me read and change my voice dramatically.  I mentioned it is also a movie, but the book is always so much better.  So that's how we started reading The Joy Luck Club, spontaneous - spur-of-the-moment decision.  Every woman in my classroom engaged in the reading about women, getting together to play Mah Jong.  However, the women in The Joy Luck Club were involved in more than a game; they were engaged in continuing a tradition, not with sadness or despair, but with hope and aspiration.    They continued a tradition, even though they were in a new country, they still met and shared their lives.  

The themes in the beginning of the book about tradition reminded me of the women in my family and how closely we hold tradition.  Tradition is what holds us together in hard times and good times.  Tradition welcomes us with loving arms and reminds us of where we come from and where we always have a home.  Tradition sustains - even during those moments- cuando queremos decir no aguantamos! 

When I was growing up, I used to spend time with my sister-in-law's mom, who we called Grandma Fina, even though she wasn't our grandma.  She treated us all like grand-children though with never-ending care and love.  

Our tradition was Loteria! y pan dulce con cafe. We would stay up till the middle of the night, playing Loteria! I remember her house, the heavy scent of comino wavered in the air, so strong it clung to your clothes when you left.  That scent is home to me, it is loving hands rolling tortillas and cooking delicious food.  The scent of comino is a grandma who never tired from doing for others, a grandma who nurtured, scolded, and praised her grand-kids, and even us.  

After Grandma Fina went to Heaven, the tradition continued.  Grandpa Lopez was there, in his wheelchair, seated at the head of the table, waving the big Loteria! cards till we were ready to play.

So I leave you with this...every woman should keep traditions alive.  

Libro Interesante

Women who live in Coffee Shops & Other Stories
Written by: Stella Pope Duarte 

When I first saw this title, this came to mind.

Women sitting around a coffee shop, talking excitedly, or discussing some literature.  Women sitting around a coffee shop, maybe on their laptops, blogging or reading book club notes or checking Facebook, quien sabe?  Or women like myself, huddled in a corner, sipping a warm cup of joe, and buried so deeply in a book, the outside world ceases to exist for a short while.

However, when I read the back cover I quickly realized it was not like that at all.  It is a heavy overdose of reality, a book that touches those innermost sensitive parts of my being.

These stories hit me to the core and slam me with reality; the writer's voice is powerful.  While reading, I cannot help but be wrapped up in the character's life and continue turning pages till I see what happens next.
Hermanas, if you want to read some interesting stories, based in Phoenix, AZ about the struggles of inner-city kids who learn too much, too soon, live through too much, too soon, then pick up this book!

La Bloga reviewed it as well if want a more in-depth review.

Monday - Let me Tell You about Mora - Pat Mora

I have decided that every now and then I will feature one of my favorite authors and  interesting facts about them.  Pat Mora remains one of my favorite poets of all time.  Her words capture the Latina experience in a strong feminist manner.  

Señora X No More

Straight as a nun I sit.
My fingers foolish before paper and pen
hide in my palms. I hear the slow, accented echo
How are yu? I ahm fine. How are yu?
of the other women who clutch notebooks and blush
at their stiff lips resting
sounds that float graceful as
bubbles from their children's mouths.
My teacher bends over me, gently squeezes
my shoulders, the squeeze I give my sons,
hands louder than words.
She slides her arms around me:
a warm shawl, lifts my left arm
onto the cold, lined paper.
"Señora, don't let it slip away," she says
and opens the ugly, soap-wrinkled fingers of my right hand
with a pen like I pry open the lips of a stubborn grandchild.
My hand cramps around the thin hardness.
"Let it breathe," says this woman who knows
my hand and tongue knot, but she guides
and I dig the tip of my pen into that white.
I carve my crooked name, and again at night
until my hand and arm are sore,
I carve my crooked name,
my name.

Pat Mora

This poem touched me right to the core, reminded me of my abuelita because she never learned to read or write, and she signed with an "X."  You know, isn't it ironic that my abuelita never read or wrote? However, she was a driving force en mi exito.  She pushed me, she told me, all the time, to go for my dreams, do good in school, don't stop believing in myself.  Always with love and encouragement, she told me, "Elsie, vas a ser una profesora."    

I am thankful to have had a wonderful abuelita, pushing me forward con ganas siempre.  This morning at the college while I was preparing my reading lessons, one of my students approached me.  An older lady in her forties who knows too much English to be in ESL, but feels way more comfortable speaking in Spanish.  

"Todavia, tu eres mi profesora, verdad?"  Her words touched me and I smiled and nodded.  "Si, soy tu profesora.  Perdon, pero tenía una migraña en la semana pasada..."  I explained about the pinche migraine that kept me out sick from teaching on my 2nd day of class for the new session.  

Right now, I have been reading Pat Mora's poetry in Aunt Carmen's Book of Saints.  The book reads with different poems, but they all have some connection to life.  There are pictures of the saints and little stories about their courageous lives.  Of course, there is that Latino flavor which makes it all more interesting.  

I was really intrigued by the biographical excerpt I read about Pat Mora today.  She stopped teaching to either pursue a Ph. D or writing.  Interesting....she was admitting she was spending too much time grading papers.  Interesting... sounds like me ... yeppers, I write lesson plans, that's what I write.  Oh yeah, I blog by the way.  Occasionally I get the ganas to pour out some cuentitos of my own.  

I read about these awesome successful real-life authors, because they all inspire me in some small way.  Yes, I love teaching, it does inspire me and actually serves as a canvas for stories at many times.  I love writing equally though.  

I read about Pat Mora's struggles to publish children's literature; I had no idea! Here I thought, the public library here has several of her books, not a problem for Latino authors, pero yo estaba equivocada!

I agree with her though.  There needs to be more multi-cultural literature for children, not only children, but all people.  Hermanas, sabes que?  Necesitamos mas libros con apellidos como nosotras.  

Every woman, every mother, every aunt, every woman who is older then some other woman, SHARE! Share about our culture, all the little stories, dichos, recetas, lo que sea!  If we do not share, who is? 

Compartir nuestras vidas, por favor! 

Spanish Adjectives - part of lesson tomorrow... y un poquito de mi vida :)

This is part of what I wrote tonight for my Spanish I class. This web-site is really helpful in some additional notes for the students. I created some power points with various pictures. I hope it gets their attention and keeps it :).

Spanish Adjectives Part 1: Descriptions

I am teaching the verbs "estar" and "ser." I think they have mastered "estar" in the singular form now.  So we are moving on over to "ser" for those permanent un-changeable conditions.  However, there are constantly side by side, estas palabras, "estar" and "ser."  Confundibles!

When I was typing up "sucio," I couldn't help thinking of this term my mom told me.  While I was single, young and vulnerable, but not so naive, older men always had "eyes" for me, and sometimes, yes, I found them attractive in a Jorge Ramos sort of way.

Never ever did I pursue a relationship though with an older man - hay Dios! My mom teased me and said "you will change Depends! Vas a ver, keep looking at older men! Con las canas en los ....."  Use your imagination for that last term. That's when I got to know the term "viejo sucio" real well.  Pero sabes que, no voy a ensenar esta palabra!  Solamente como "el nino esta sucio porque jugó en el barro..."  Solamente - TE JURO! 

Una Vista Hermosa - Casi Divas

I enjoyed a movie tonight that had me laughing and crying at the end.  It was a Spanish movie, so the rest of this post will be in Spanish.  


Casi Divas!  


Un cuento de cuatros mexicanas que quieren ser estrellas.  

Mi favorita era Yesenia con mucha belleza y actitud.  
Cada persona en esta vista representa una reflexion de Mexico.  
La gente en la Ciudad, las indígenas, los ricos, y las trabajadores de Ciudad Juarez.  


Lo siento mucho para la gente en Juarez, Mexico.  Hay mucha pobreza en la colonia.  Mucho dolor para las familias, porque cada dia, mujeres se mueren y la policia no  ponen atención.  En Casi Divas, hay una mujer de este lugar, se llama Catalina.  Ella es un gran ejemplo de fuerza y gana para ayudar a las mujeres.  Me encanta la historia de ella.  

Esta vista me hizo llorar porque todo me tocó el corazón, especialmente las historias de cada persona.  Yo amo todo las personas en esta vista. En cada pueblito, hay gente que tienen sus identidades y historias.  

Hay temas importantes como la homosexualidad, la identidad de una persona, la familia ... pero el mas importante era de amor, amor entre parejas, amor entre amigos, amor entre familia.  


Disfrútalo, cuando lo ves!


http://casidivas.com/

Mole Rhymes with 'Ole!"

Thanks to Dona Maria and the ladies in my ESL class, I was able to make a delicious Mole for my hubby and my family this evening.  We had the works - arroz con pollo, frijoles with big juicy "burn-your-mouth" jalapenos.  The mole was the best though! 


I prepared the arroz with sauteed green peppers and onions that sizzled and crackled with noise while releasing mouth-watering aromas.  The frijoles had been simmering all afternoon with big chunks of bacon to add some salty flavor.  Last, I dropped the big jalapenos in them and some chunks of fresh tomatoes.  I love the frijoles to have fire in them, burn your mouth, open your sinuses, that's how I love frijoles!  I had the chicken boiling in my large shiny pot, letting out that natural chicken broth that tastes so warm.  I watched the rice fluff up nicely, and then it was time to start the mole.  


Granted, I had never made mole like this before.   First I threw in some flour to toast and form a thick gravy with the chicken broth, then I dropped big tablespoons of peanut butter in.  The chicken broth changed from a light amber color to a creamy dark orange.  I looked at the jar of Dona Maria and tried to figure out how to open it.  I ended up poking several holes in it with the can opener I use to open tomato sauce.  I let the the liquid fall into the pot then saw a powder that looked like instant hot chocolate powder but with a thick scent.  I scooped out about 2 tablespoons of it and watched the gravy form.  Meanwhile, I had already added the real cocoa to thicken and add the sweet chocolate flavor.  Also one dried chile ancho that had been pureed.  This only took about 20-30 minutes, and they say everyone has a distinct mole recipe, an individual recipe, everyone makes it different.  That's what the ladies in my class told me last night, "make your own, you make it the way you can, si se puedes!" Yes, I did make it, and it wasn't hard at  all.  So sabes que? Every woman should... make a food she has been wantign to make.  At least once, try it!  


Everyone was asking for more sauce, gravy, MOLE! I even liked the unique flavor of this blend of chocolate, chile ancho, chicken broth, and peanut butter in this thick gravy.  My hubby was delighted to come home to a home full of family and the aroma of good food cooking in the kitchen.  I enjoy cooking authentic Mexican food so much; it's important to me to preserve that part of our culture.  


It's especially important for me to cook MOLE porque es la comida favorita de mi esposo!!  Mi suegra NUNCA me enseno, pero esta bien.  Porque, yo puedo hacer mas mejor!  El MOLE que yo cociné se mira mas deliciosa con un color de marron -  muy  bonita.  


This isn't a pic of my mole, but it is similar of how it looked.  Next time I think I'll try Mole Enchiladas! 

I Will Not...Take that Pill Again!

graphics & comments | Spanish Graphics | Blogger Templates



I really believe the 2 day long migraine I had was due to hormones from the new birth control I was prescribed.  I started taking it because my endometriosis was acting up again; I exchanged one symptom for another.  I'd rather be having irregular menstrual cycles then the painful migraine I had.  I wanted to be in bed and sleep; I was dizzy; I had no appetite.  I knew then I was sick, because I'm a gordita, I love to eat! My mouth kept filling with saliva like I was going to vomit any minute, and my head was spinning.  Every time I stood up, I felt like I would fall flat on my face.  I was irritable, even my adult class at the college annoyed me, which is never.  I felt like every few minutes a hammer would smash against my head, and let's not get started on the bright lights and noises.  And, to think I was teaching 9th-10th graders as well - nombre!!!!  

The only thing I did different this week, was take Syronyx, that dreadful birth control the  Clinic gave me.  So that must have caused it - usually I pop an Excedrin, and I feel great within a lil' while, but NO, not w/ this migraine - it stayed and worsened as I tried to sleep more.

I know side effects are different for everyone, but this one clearly said on side effects if you have a history of migraines or high blood pressure, do not take this.  Okay, so like a tonta, believing the dr, I took the pill and within 2-3 days, I became miserably sick.
I am going to get stronger now and speak to the clinic about a different birth control OR just stay off of it and deal with the irregularity of my cycles - Quien sabe? I'll keep my health in God's hands and trust in Him.

So, here's what I'll leave you with - every woman should ... read the side effects on a pill before they swallow it and expect it to work, really read it and discuss with the dr, any pre-health conditions, and be aware of any interactions.  Every woman should... remember life is too short to be sick, we need to make the best of every day.  Every woman should ... change what they can in their life... even if it means changing what pills we take.

In honor of my Abuelita- A Little bit about Los Santitos

Today is All Saints' Day.  


Yesterday, I gave a little 10 minute talk about saints at church for our RCIA class.  Prior to speaking, I prayed that God would allow the Holy Spirit to speak through me, and the image which remained in my mind was of my abuelita praying to her saints.  


My abuelita loved her santitos so much and had so much faith in them, that she could not go to sleep without praying to her saints.  She had so much faith in her santitos to take those prayers to God.  The night she lost her final battle to heart disease, she went to sleep praying before her altar of santitos y velas.  I can still smell the rose perfume of her velas which gives me a sense of peace.  I love my abuelita and know she is in Heaven now, looking down on me.  

Because of my abuelita, I have a love for saints and their extra-ordinary lives.  I remember she would turn a saint upside down, if her prayer wasn't answered right away.  My daddy shares stories with me of putting the statue of the saints in the fields, so they would have a good crop.  Even if it was pouring rain outside, he'd have to go out there and make sure that saint was watching over the fields.  Those were the days back en el rancho.  


Often people become confused by us Catholics; they think we worship the saint, the statue, the candle with the image.  Pero no, no adoramos los santos, preguntamos para la intercesión.  Saints are blessed people who responded strongly to God's will and dedicated their whole lives to serving God.  They were normal people, like you and me.  Sure, they got angry, they made mistakes, they returned to God's presence siempre.  

My patron saint is Santa Teresa de Avila, a wonderful mystic of the Church, who endured a great deal in her life, yet still served God.  I admire her strength, patience, and fortitude.  She is patron saint of migraines; I did not even know this when I selected her for confirmation, but wow it makes sense! She helps me out when I have these painful migraines.  But best of all, she is the patron saint for Spanish Catholic writers.  Y soy una escritora...Yes, I am a writer, and writing is a gift from God.