Exciting New Changes in My Life

I have been so busy the past week with little time to stop and read blogs or even blog myself.  However, it has been a happy, exciting, kind of busy.  Not the dreaded, I have so much to do, will life ever slow down, busy.  More like the exciting, can't wait till next dr. appointment busy.  


Last week, we received some wonderful, truly a gift from God, news.  My husband and I are expecting our first baby!  That's right, I am about 7 weeks pregnant.  I suspected for a couple of weeks with nausea and a late period, so I decided to buy a pregnancy test.  Of all places, the dollar store.  We thought "ok it's only a dollar if it comes out negative..."  But it didn't; it came out positive nearly immediately, and I went to sleep with a big smile on my face, and kept asking myself "is this real?"   


Immediately the following day, I went to the women's clinic and got tested, and yes, positive again.  I was so happy I wanted to cry; we had been praying for this for some time now.  We went to the church chapel to give thanks to God.  Only through God can this miracle of life be possible.  


Months ago, I was discouraged of pregnancy because of health problems, primarily high blood pressure and high risk of diabetes.  Since then I have made some lifestyle changes, primarily in my diet.  Over the course of time, I have spoken with different health professionals and received different advice and opinions.  
The advise and encouragement that stood out was "yes, there are women with high blood pressure who get pregnant all the time; they just need to take the right meds to keep the blood pressure down, yes it's possible."  As far as diabetes, I feel a lot more healthier with my sugar intakes now.  


In September of 2010, I became quite ill with what the doctors suspected was endometriosis and advised to get back on the birth control pill.  I tried, but the birth control gave me horrible migraines, so I stopped it.  The doctor said it would take up to a year to be normal and have regular cycles, and birth control was the only way to regulate it.  I decided against that, felt I could bear the cramps and irregular periods, if it meant I would be able to possible - conceive.  I left it in God's hands and prayed that His will be done.  I prayed a lot for healing, even prayed for God to take the negative thoughts away and teach me to trust in Him and not science and what the doctors said.  

I had a couple of false pregnancies with my late periods, so this time I wasn't too excited when I was two weeks late.  I just thought "it's another false alarm...there's going to be blood next time I go to the rest room."  But all along, I was feeling different, more urgency to go to the rest room, more nausea, annoying saliva in my mouth, extreme fatigue, seriously all I want is to lay down and sleep.  But today I truly felt alive, like the realization that life is growing within me, and it's all praise to God.  


I went shopping at HEB for some healthy nutritional foods and I actually enjoyed it, instead of dreading  walking down the busy aisles.  I know there will be ups and downs and more morning sickness, but I am determined to have the best attitude I can have about this pregnancy.  I understand there will be trials ahead, such as finding a bigger home and dealing with stress of teaching 9th graders, but I know at the end of the day, my body is changing and there's life within me, growing and feeling.  


I leave you with this ... every woman should remember... God is always with us, He is blessing us and taking care of us with unfailing love, and He will give you your heart's desire, even when you least expect it.  

always the big girl ...

Growing up was not easy being the "big girl." Buying clothes was a task, nothing would fit, no matter how hard I tried to squeeze into the junior hipster jeans. This was before the time of Junior Plus clothes. I had to wear a bra when I was like ten years old! So embarassing! My mom altered my clothes to fit me right; she treated me lovingly though, never demanding I diet or run miles to lose weight. Always supportive, reminding me that God made me. She supported me during my dieting/exercising phases when I did shed pounds. She supported me in my happy times like right now, I am not trying to change how I look; I am in a happy state of being the big girl, a happy state of acceptance.

I am truly thankful for the people in life who treated me con carino, the best way to translate that - with endearment, with love, without criticism. My mom always told me I was "gordita." Adding that "ita," saying it con carino. These are precious memories which I treasure, because it was said with love. I was taught to value my heart, let my actions reflect the type of person I am, not my body size.

It has not always been like this though ... I do still have hurtful memories. The road certainly hasn't been easy. It has been full of bumps I'd stumble over, hills I climbed, and holes I fell in and scraped my knees. In high school, a group of cheerleaders laughed, pointed, and whispered words like "fat." My only comfort then was in my books where I lost myself and almost constantly imagined myself a different slimmer person, thinking that would bring me happiness.

It was not until my adult life that I gained acceptance, learning how to dress correctly to fit my figure. I also learned that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of those bad memories re-surfaced again though. Before my husband and I got married, his mom said some mean hateful things that I was fat and needed to lose weight to fit into a wedding dress. She also said that she could put me on a diet so I wouldn't be "gordita" anymore. I was hurt, really hurt, like how could she say that? Why not look at the fact that I love her son? I was also hurt to learn my soon-to-be mother-in-law could be so superficial. Numerous times later, I learned more of her criticisms, her telling me in her broken English, "you too heavy that's why you knee hurt" or "come mas ensaladas, mas fruta, yo no como dulces, no como mucho pan, es mucho carbs."

Then the time, she bragged how she and her daughter were going to yoga, and it was so good for the body, "you lose inches, not weight, inches," putting her thin hand on her bone of a hip. "you need to do something" she repeated over and over till I rolled my eyes and I told her I was busy with something else.

Almost every time I see her, she tries to get me to eat more fruit or more of something "healthy" she made. Or as I eat, she will watch me, or try to persuade me to eat less. It is so uncomfortable, that I have nearly given up on eating around her at all. This is only a little bit of how she can be.

I was raised to love myself the way God made me and not let others put me down. I love myself and know I have far better qualities then a thin chick with no brain. Honestly, what brings me great comfort is knowing that people like my suegra who pick on other people are really insecure themselves.

Every Woman Should ... Have Balance in Her Life

So often we have to be,
so many roles, wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, 
whatever our career demands of us.  


How do we find time for ourselves?  
Just a little bit of time to do what we want
what we need to do so we keep a balance in our life.  

Every woman should ... have balance in her life.  
Do something for about an hour or so -  that you enjoy.  
Not something you HAVE to do, something you want to do.  


No, I am not saying put yourself above your family, 
but put some time aside just for you.  


We all deserve that, a little time for our own independence, 
to grow as a person, and keep our sanity, too.  


Last week, I spent some time sewing which was relaxing.  I read somewhere online that needlepoint, sewing, crocheting, all help lower blood pressure.  My blood pressure started off elevated when I had trouble loading the bobbin.  I wanted to cuss up a storm and just stop, como ya no mas! voy a dormir! But no I was determined as I usually am about new projects.  I kept on trying and trying till I had the bobbin loaded with the strong red thread.  Once I got started, I finished up a fabric book cover that I put on a plain blue 3-ring binder.  Then I sewed about nine heart-shaped potholders Valentines; I got the idea from the Martha Stewart site.  I found that when it comes to sewing, I really am like my mom.  I tried using the heart-shaped pattern, but after awhile, I had the hang of cutting out the hearts from the material by myself - no pattern.  They are cute little pot holders, but I need to finish the ribbon trim, just haven't made it to Wal-Mart yet.  Then, I'll post some pics.  Sewing was relaxing once I had the hang of it, and my husband even sat with me the last hour and encouraged me.  So thankful I had the time to have some balance - not all work and no play, got to "play" with the sewing machine.  

5 Day Writing Challenge Start - Catching up - *long post*

Lady Blogger's Society posted some interesting writing prompts.  Today I am playing catch-up for Mon-Wed.  

Monday: SOMETHING YOU’VE OUTGROWN?

Shopping excessively and credit cards...  During my early 20's, I had almost every credit card to every department store.  Especially Dillards', because I worked there while in college.  It didn't help that I was the salesgirl marking down fashionable purses and fabulous jewelry that I quickly put aside, so I could purchase on my lunch-break.  I was a shop-aholic to the ultimate power.  I racked up credit card debt really high.  When there was a sale, well there was a sale, I bought one in each color. Compulsive buyer- I just couldn't say No!  I kept thinking how much I was saving, so that provided that cushion to charging or spending part of my pay-check. I can relate completely and sadly to Confessions of a Shopaholic.  

Why do you think it happened?

I think that almost every woman goes through this.  Yes, I spent and I charged, but I did it responsibly in a way.  I made sure the bills were paid before I went on a shopping spree.  I worked in retail for 3 years; I think that was the main reason that drew me to stores - hell I was already there.  And, I was weak to salespeople, really WEAK! They just had to tell me something looked great or it made me look thinner or it brought out the highlights in my hair.  I never forget that one, because after I bought the bright orange shirt, I thought what highlights?

I grew out of it, right around the time I was finishing college and going through a major change in my life.  I realized that having material things does not matter as much, and I do not NEED all these things.  Also, my husband helped me rid of a lot of credit card debt by helping me control my spending habits.  Partly, because we were dating which took time away from shopping, and then before I knew it, we were planning our wedding, which YES, you bet - took time.  As a result, I learned to appreciate the little things in life more, the simple pleasures.  Yes, I still enjoy shopping; nearly every woman does, verdad?  But I don't spend as much as I used to, and I have one credit card now.  

Tuesday:  Are you RED or PINK?

Hell yes, soy roja! I blush when I get embarrassed.  I see RED when I am angry which doesn't happen often. To me, RED is the color of many feelings, and I am a sentimental, easily crying, easily laughing type of person.  I am as red as fire that will warms or burns - burning doesn't happen often at all!  I am a big sweetheart inside, like those big red sweetheart boxes of chocolate, mostly full of goodies ;).  Red is my trademark color, my favorite color, the color that wraps itself around me. I am red, because I am full of energy most of the time, I get really hyper sometimes, mostly at night! Night owl I am! 

Wednesday:  Connection

I've connected with some wonderful "friends" on blogs.  Is it sad that I'd rather check your blogs and tweets then talk to my "real" friends lol?  Sometimes, I just feel a stronger connection with my online friends.  I also feel like maybe we have this cosmic connection, because often, like really often, our blog topics are similar or our answers on surveys are similar or we are watching the same movie.  Or we feel the same about our suegras, and I am like "yes, I am not the only one!"  I am thankful for all the lovely friends I've met online, some I have known for years, like my best friend in AZ, and some I have met more recently like Amanda Roo, my blog twin.  Either way, I am thankful and I love you dearly from the bottom of my heart.